Kitty Pryde Verses The Teacher's Association
by Red Witch
Summary: Who will win the battle of wills? Kitty or the teachers? Or are the teacher's wills already broken?


**The educational review board has censored the disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters. Well here it is. The third and final installment in the 'Kitty Pryde Verses' series. I think. Then again I thought I would stop at the first one but what do I know? **

**Kitty Pryde Verses The Teacher's Association**

"This emergency meeting of the Teacher's Association will now come to order," Superintendent Harper pounded his gavel on the table. He was a middle aged, brown haired man but still looked rather well. Actually he looked much better **before** the crisis.

The crisis known as Kitty Pryde.

"We have to do something about that girl before we all get killed!" Mr. Gerald, the Gym teacher and Assistant Driver's Ed. Teacher shouted.

"I want to put it on record now that I want Kitty Pryde and the rest of her freak friends banned from the cafeteria period!" Another teacher spoke out. "Before we get even more food poisoning!"

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to get tire tracks out of the floor?" Mrs. Henderbergen, the French teacher asked.

"All right! All right! Settle down! Settle down!" Superintendent Harper banged his gavel. "As we all know all students need a certain amount of credits of non academic curriculum in order to pass to the next grade. Now what we need to do is to figure out a way to put Pryde in a class that will cause the least amount of damage. Any ideas?"

"Forget any sports," Mr. Gerald grunted. "Bayville High is still banned from a lot of inter scholastic sports activities in this state thanks to all the mutants that went here! We already had to give back at least half our trophies in our trophy case!"

"Drama club is out too," Another teacher said. "I know for a fact if Kitty Pryde is put in Drama I will lose more than half my students! Many parents have already told me that they will pull their children out if she gets in! And the same goes for Choir."

"Again we're still banned from a lot of competitions even though most of the mutants never even took chorus or Band," Mrs. Hawkins the Algebra teacher sighed. "So those are out. What about Art class?"

"We don't have an art class anymore!" Mr. Gerald groaned. "We had to cut it to pay for all the holes in the walls!"

"Don't even **think **about sticking her in Computer Sciences!" Another teacher spoke up. "Pryde has crashed more computers than a hacker's virus! And that's when she's not using her powers!"

"Well we have to put her **somewhere!**" Superintendent Harper snapped. "If she doesn't get the three credits she needs, she's stuck here an extra year!"

"And we'll be **stuck** with her," Mr. Gerald groaned. "We get it."

"What about Chess Club?" Mrs. Hawkins asked.

"Tried it, but they complained that a mutant in their club would ruin their image," Another teacher sighed.

"What about making her a peer councilor?" Mrs. Hawkins tried another suggestion.

"Great, then we can watch the suicide rate skyrocket," Mr. Gerald moaned.

"That's not a very positive attitude when talking about the students," A female teacher huffed.

"Who said I was talking about the **students?**" Mr. Gerald asked. "Besides no one is that desperate to let a mutant listen to their problems! And if they were knowing Pryde she would only make it worse!"

"He has a point," Superintendent Harper sighed.

"How about student broadcasting? Some kind of school news project?" Another female teacher suggested.

"I thing this school has had enough of the news media to last a lifetime, don't you?" Mrs. Hawkins gave her a look. "What else is left that hasn't already been cut out of the budget?"

"There's always Wood Shop…" Superintendent Harper looked at the list.

"OH GOD NO!" The Wood Shop teacher yelled. He held up his hands to reveal seven fingers and three of them were bandaged. "I only have seven fingers left! I already lost two of them when those Brotherhood maniacs were in school! They were playing a game of 'Catch the Saw' and I **lost**! And the last one I lost due to a throwing star incident!"

"Throwing star…?" Superintendent Harper blinked.

"A couple of students thought it might be a good idea to make those stupid ninja throwing stars," The Wood Shop teacher sighed. "To be fair with all those mutants around it seemed like a good idea at the time."

"You tried to arm the students with **weapons?**" Mrs. Hawkins yelled.

"Get off your high horse Hawkins! Those Xavier mutants are ten times more dangerous than any man made weapon and I have the medical bills to prove it!" Mr. Gerald snapped.

"There's nothing we can do," Mrs. Henderburgen moaned. "We're stuck with her aren't we?"

"Please for the love of all that is holy, Superintendent Harper can't you just expel her?" A teacher pleaded. "How many more of us have to be taken out before you **do** something?"

"Or are you waiting until one of us actually **dies** so you can cash in on our insurance policies?" Mr. Gerald snapped.

"What insurance policies?" Superintendent Harper moaned. "No one will ensure this dump with mutants running amok in it! But Xavier's lawyers won't let us expel her without just cause!"

"Just cause? She's trying to **kill us all** and you don't have **just cause?"** A teacher screamed. "Look at Mrs. Sunnydale! Look what she did to her when she subbed in that Home Economics class!"

"Muffins are the enemy," A harried young blonde woman rocked back and forth in her chair. "Can't trust muffins. Muffins will break your teeth and make you get sick and throw up and not in a fun way. Beware the pizza…Beware the pizza! That's **not** tomato sauce!"

"Half the toilets are still not working thanks to her last cooking experiment," A teacher sighed.

"_Here comes the Muffin Mutant…The Muffin Mutant…"_ Mrs. Sunnydale started to laugh hysterically.

"Somebody hand Mrs. Sunnydale her medication please?" Superintendent Harper moaned.

"If Pryde is going to be here an extra year we'd better stock up on all kinds of medication including antidotes to poison!" Mr. Gerald snapped.

"I can't take another year of this," Mrs. Henderburgen moaned. "I'm putting in for early retirement!"

"We're doomed! Doomed!" Another teacher wailed.

"That's it! I'm quitting teaching and becoming a fisherman in Alaska!" A teacher yelled.

"I'm going to join a cult!" Another shouted. "Or a law firm. Depends on the 401k plan."

"I'm just quitting to go to a bar and drink all day," Another teacher moaned.

"That sounds like a good plan," Mr. Gerald moaned.

"Sir, if you don't do anything we won't have any teachers at Bayville High left! Let alone a principal!" A female teacher pleaded.

"That's **it!"** Superintendent Harper snapped. "There's only one way out of this mess! We stick Pryde in a study hall and give her the three credits **anyway!** Tell her we made a mistake and she's already earned them! That way nobody gets killed!"

"Finally! A sensible idea!" The Wood Shop teacher agreed.

"We're just going to pass a student just to get her out of our classrooms and make our lives easier?" Mrs. Hawkins asked.

"Yup," Superintendent Harper agreed.

"Sounds good to me," Mr. Gerald nodded.

"Yeah I'll buy that," Another teacher added.

"But what does that say about us if we just pass a student without giving her the proper educational background and knowledge?" Mrs. Hawkins asked.

"It says we're a part of the American Educational System," Mr. Harper stood up. "Thank God we live in the good old US of A! Where the sooner they get out that door, the sooner they are not our problem anymore! Now I will conclude this meeting in the nearest bar! Drinks are on me!"


End file.
